BaseketBall Blogs: Anxiety Run

BaseketBall Blogs: Will either be basketball or baseball related or both

I felt awful yesterday, like my world was caving in on itself.

So I went for a basketball run to Tripp’s Park, a park near my house. Within the terror of not dying, I don’t really care if I die because then I can potentially comeback as Michael Jordan, but I digress. I was dying from the idea of not doing enough, or accomplishing enough and that manifested in unsettling and unnerving feelings that blasted away as I steadily ran while juggling my old, worn out NeverFlat basketball (this one really held its namesake).

And as I reached my tunneling vortex of anxiety I saw this bike on the sidewalk. Insignificant if it wasn’t my age, which it unfortunately is, but fortunately, I feel great for the most part and definitely don’t feel my age. I realized on that run that I’m doing just fine and although I am nowhere near where i want to be, I got like 20-25 more great natural years in me and then I can just blast TRT if I need to or just slouch and get fat and not even care because I gave it everything i had as youngins’ and as a 31 year old, young old’in.

When I reached the basketball court there was a guy there that didn’t seem very good and I definitely wasn’t going to challenge him to a 1v1. I usually don’t do that anyway, if someone wants to play me I will though, and eventually he did. I feel bad, and I was going to take it easy on him, but on the first possession, as i went of an easy layup i heard him “go bad shot, that’s a miss” or something along those lines, and as the ball swished in, I knew I was not going to let him get any sympathy points. I didn’t let him score a basket. 7-0. Wasn’t hard to do, but I had to do it, and i was running late and my alarm clock went off just as we finished up. We talked after, and he was good kid. 18-19, in and out of juvie. We had a purposeful conversation, and I have seen him since. I don’t feel bad, if you challenge me, I’m going full blast every time. Every game to me is Game 7. God I love basketball.