I Am Clavicular

Part 1

The Saddest Part About Clavicular is that i am him or at least i was him and maybe deep down ill always have some sort of Clav Trauma stored in me and maybe just maybe deep down we all have all the ailments of vanity that plague him. The course of humanity was scaled and is often still scaled with vanity.

This topic of Clav and “#LooksMaxxxing” has so many facets, is Clavicular an enigma? Yes.

Do I actually relate to him? Honestly yes in some ways. I love sports (which is chud right? Or subhuman? I forget. Just watch the channel 5 interview he explains it more in-depth) so i don’t relate to him in that way because he says going to a bar and watching football is beneath him and to me that is peak life, but in terms of always obessing over my looks and shit like that, yea, I can be vain and self-absorbed, checking the mirror, body dysmorphia. The Nines Of The Seven Deadly Sins personified.

The difference is I’m ten years older than him and now I’m heading towards not giving a shit. I mean I’ll stay in shape forever based on my age and especially compared to the the greater demographic of humans that are not in shape (or subhuman as clav would say) but thats because I wanna feel good, like who gives a fuck if you are hot after 30, have a kid if yo can.

I do wish I was taller like he does (even though he is a height I would kill for unless he is Height Frauding?)

Being 6’2″ would be sick, being 6’6″ is my dream because of MJ that would be sick to be like Mike, but I could care less if girls want me, I’ve done well for 5’8″, but solely I’d like to be a foot taller so I can ball uncontroablly and dunk on dudes heads which he can careless about because he sucks at sports and hates sports, other than Baseball, he had some trophies that he would use to BoneSmash his face with and his mom had to take it away.

All ive ever wanted was to be Michael Jordan so if i had to smash my face or elongate my legs I would find a way to do it and like him and his looks, i would obsess over it and make it a chronic mental note every second of the day. So i really cannot judge him with any moral compass or fortitdue, am I any better than him and his vanity?

If im being completely honest with myself, i really was a accidental looksmaxxxer at one point in high school and maybe it worked or maybe it was just puberty and i was lucky with genetics that kept my face slim and my jaw cut? Either way i obsessed over my looks and wanting to be shredded and hot and shit so i fucking get it. And not to toot my own horn but i was making out with multiple chicks at once. The Jersey Shore Jewish Girl ring around the rosey of making out with a set of twins and their friend when i was at the Jersey Shore proves i was at least “Chad” if not “Mega Chad” but maybe a step below because im a manlet midget/subhuman in height.

I have body dysmorphia for sure, i always think i look awful so i think i can really relate with this kid even though i just cant get behind the way he will potentially destroy his body just for looks, maybe sports, but just for looks? C’mon, that’s that one word were not allowed to say anymore. You know which one I’m talking about.

The New Gen are becoming little babies when it comes to women. Oh she broke your heart, and you are forever changed and women are this and women are that, shut the fuck up, find a wife, not a hoe if you are that concerned about your wittle feelings. Be a realistic man with standards, but not an abhorred human who thinks all women are bad, it’s simply not true, i have 4 sisters who are amazing, aunts who are amazing, my grandmothers are and were amazing and friends who i may not see everyday who are amazing and girls I’ve dated who i may not be with, who are amazing. Are they often brutal? Yea of course, and I think that’s how Men and Women should interact, a little clashing and opposite of thought and production in the scale of life. Gender norms can be challenged sure, but like I wouldn’t want my sisters to be my full-bros. I enjoy their femineity even when it drives me absolutely insane. It is a part of life to face things and not run from them and then just act like girls are completely moronic. Sure they are often moronic and brutal and make you go insane, but that is the way it goes and fully obliterating their existence from your life will not cause you to grow. You don’t have to hate them for that and you can still get along with differing opinions.

Sure you gotta be cautious and find the right girl or be honest and tell every girl they aren’t the only one. You gotta. You just gotta. Have your fun, but don’t belittle people in your path for supremeness, find a sport or a craft and be supreme in that so you are chill and content, not always trying to find an edge over people, who wants to hang with people so vain and uncentered? I don’t. And if you care about hooking up with chicks after like 25 get a fucking grip dude, nobody cares and most hot chicks are not worth the amendment of your whole life, sports in my opinion are the only thing you should cafe about as a man, but that’s a different article.

Everyone wants to be the best, everyone wants to rule the world, but you end up ruling your own world and your own happiness when you can say you gave everything you got to everything you love and you can be full and abundant in love for your most important people and unafraid of the consequences of life and whether you look good or not. Your soul doesn’t crave outward attention, it needs validation from yourself everyday that you can stand ten toes down and face the world and give it your all even if it feels inconsequential. Doesn’t matter if you are 8’11” no hot chick or anybody can give you the validation you must seek from within. And these teenage boppers or as Anders From Workaholics used to call them “Young Go-Hards” have no freakin’ clue what life is about and how destroying your body early without the conscious of having a child, the most important thing in the world if possible. i was inclined to the idea of child from my first job at my Mom’s daycare, babysitting my cousin Paris and my little sister Londyn (Yea I know) and as a Manny, but with my niece coming into the picture, that is one thing i am no longer scared to try if the moments right. And to realize these kids might zap their golden chance at a beautiful moment in life is as depressing as it gets. I hope that isn’t the case with Clavicular, deep down i really do think he is a damaged person who needs a little guidance from the right people. I hope he ends up not sterile and can have a kid if he so pleases. Eventually, he’ll realize every parent says the same thing no matter what whether the kid ends up the MVP of the NFL or even a twisted psycho, having a child yields them the greatest ROI in a lifetime, something incomparable to anything else in the world. Clav will eventually, not now, but eventually he’ll realize the respect of your Dad is the most important thing you can have in your life as a Son, if you are lucky enough to have a Dad you realize that truth and from the clips I’ve seen he cares about his Dad even if he clip farms his conversations with him.

Clav Part 2 – Coming Soon